a sToRy of a GaL named Jas//*

Sunday, May 27, 2007

feeling depressed once again.. it's not the time to be down..

jas.. give u one more day.. to wake up ur idea and buck up!!
stop wasting ur time.. tinking and waiting for things that won't never happen..
y waste ur tears.. they will nv understand.. they will nv know..
even if they know.. they will not care..

dun be silly.. u're of no use to them anymore.. so y would they even wanna be bothered wif u.. they are just making use of u.. y don't u understand??

ya.. i really don't understand.. who is for real.. who is fake.. i really can't tell..
can u all dun torture me wif all these..

just 1 more week before my exams..
yet.. i'm can't find the appropriate energy to start..

upset over many reasons..
disappointed wif many ppl..
waiting for smth that will never happen..

jas ah.. u just got to live for urself.. no one is worth ur time.. =(
stop wasting ur time.. u have no time to waste..
exams are round the corners.. u know nutz abt them..
one more group report and individual paper due on fri..
wake up.. idiot!!

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Wouldn't it be nice if we were older
Then we wouldn't have to wait so long
And wouldn't it be nice to live together
In the kind of world where we belong

You know its gonna make it that much better
When we can say goodnight and stay together

Wouldn't it be nice if we could wake up
In the morning when the day is new
And after having spent the day together
Hold each other close the whole night through

Happy times together we've been spending
I wish that every kiss was neverending
Wouldn't it be nice

Maybe if we think and wish and hope and pray it might come true
Baby then there wouldn't be a single thing we couldn't do
We could be married
And then we'd be happy
Wouldn't it be nice

You know it seems the more we talk about it
It only makes it worse to live without it
But lets talk about it
Wouldn't it be nice

Good night my baby
Sleep tight my baby

Sunday, May 13, 2007

got this bad habit of avoiding problems by shielding away from it..

so many things to be done.. but yet.. i can't find the necessary energy to keep me going.. exams will be here in less than a month time.. but wat am i still doing.. still playing a fool..

change is inevitable, however i don't quite like the change that is happening to me now.. i seemed to lose grip of myself.. i dunno wat i wan.. i dunno wat or who is good for me.. i dunno seem to understand myself anymore.. or is all this some sort of self denial??

a lesson learnt from last fri: never drink with an empty stomach..

had a torturous wee morning.. drink too much that night..

1 bottle of Hoegarden
shared 1 bottle of Stella & Heinkein with PS n Ching
1 glass of lychee martani
--> @ No. 5 Emerald Hill

shared 1 jug of vodka cranberry, 2 jugs of bourbon coke, another jug of whisky 7-up..
--> Double O wif Jo, Keith n XM (ended at double o.. all thanks to xm.. ask him to decide whether to go or not.. happily decided that we shall go for a while..but then ended up there till 3am..)

this is crazy lor.. =D

felt terrible.. slept all the way on the cab home.. hug the sink for a while.. n concuss soon after.. yikes!!! but nevertheless.. the night was fun.. hahaha =p

Sunday, May 06, 2007

glam it may seemed to be..
emptiness it is indeed..

strong - people tink i am..
weak - is wat i really am..

who could see the true me..
nobody else except me..

who is there to blame..
me, myself and no one else..

fren need help can count on me..
help myself forget abt it..

haiz.. can't seem to get out of the depression mode..
every small little thing is affecting me..
wat do i really wan..

i wan to buck up for my studies..
i wan to be happy..
i wan to feel loved..
i wan to feel wanted..
i wan to get out of this..
is easy to say what u wan.. but whether u have the drive.. the support to cheer u on.. is a separate issue..

i'm sick n tired of the status quo.. yet i'm not doing anything to help myself..
fren ard me tried to help.. but obstacles are wat they faced..
fights are happening within me..
lost is the only outcome now..
when can i say Victory..
it all had to depend on me..

shall go for a jog now.. hopefully i would feel better after it..

as bad a gf i was in the past..
now.. i'm a bad fren too..
haiz.. guess i should just be left alone..
yet.. i'm dun like being alone..

perhaps..all these are just self fulfilling prophecy.. =(