a sToRy of a GaL named Jas//*

Saturday, April 12, 2008

erm.. yest was a tough day.. tough because i made it tough..

to my spice buddies..
nothing happen.. it's just san who 大惊小怪.. go and msg all of u.. siao siao one she.. hahaha..
all i say was tt i needed a hug and i needed someone to tok to.. so tt i could sort my own tots.. so sms her lor.. my yishun buddies were uncontactable.. next nearest will be toa payoh le lor.. sembawang is nearer.. but i concluded tt lian should be in hall doing her regular "38 duty" so i didn't sms her.. as for lin.. dun dare to disturb her la.. her stress and things to do is piled up like a mountain le lor.. for jun ar.. i dun wan to hug u.. plus.. kaoz.. u staying in bedok leh.. hahaha!

ya lor.. so ke lian san lor.. got to sit down with me at toa payoh town park for like 3 to 4 hours.. lol! but romantic hor.. heh!! but thanks alot for being there.. as u should have concluded by now.. it's all in my mind.. nobody had done be any wrongs.. it's just me and myself.. hahha!

to sher.. contacted u first.. but later i gathered tt u should slping so didn't call to disturb.. poor gal.. work till so late the night before.. anyway.. thanks for ur smses..

to hl.. haha! wat's new.. u usually take ages to reply smses.. and worst when ur dear is back.. haha. but it's ok.. i still "like" u.. haha!

to dear.. i'm sorry to make u worry.. thanks for everything.. =)

Friday, April 11, 2008

我不要玩了。。我不要再想了。。

this entire trip thingy is affecting me.. i dun wan to go anywhere anymore..

a small part of me doesn't even wan to know where dear's gg for exchange.. doesn't wan to send him off.. just wan to be left alone..

tink i just start work in july and just keep myself busy throughout.. so i won't have time to 胡思乱想。。 i'm tired of tinking of ways to work ard it.. all i wan is just to have a fun and enjoyable trip.. y can't they just grant me this wish?? y do i have to end up being disappointed and upset?? i know.. deep down in me.. i have other fears and concerns too..

i oso know tt it's all in the mind.. but.. i can't seemed to convince myself otherwise.. i hate myself for behaving in this way..

many a times really feel like crying.. dear better stay where he is and not come over.. if not i tink i'll just cry...

Thursday, April 10, 2008

so sad... after all these hypes abt paris, london etc etc.. they seemed to be getting further and further away from me.. =( haiz.. very disappointed indeed.. trying all ways now to negotiate.. but apparently the nego and conflict class hasn't taught me much... i'm still a loser when come to negotiating.. damn!

HR say we cannot miss the overseas training programme.. so cannot start too late.. latest will be Sept.. so my current proposal is since missing training is their upmost concern.. then i shall go for the training first and start work at a later date.. i wonder if this way worka.. sigh! i can't help it.. but to.. Sigh! =(

8 more days to last paper...

can't wait for tt day to come sia.. no mood to study at all..
can't really be bothered.. it's worst when u had secured a job.. even my company didn't request for my current result.. which is a good thing for me.. *lucky*
anyway.. ultimately.. nobody is gg to look at the transcript anymore..
wat matters is tt u are a grad.. and ur previous work experiences.. so wat's the point of working so hard.. haha! easy for me to say this.. cos my results are horrible.. got to find ways to console myself.. lol..

Saturday, April 05, 2008

today is the last day of sch as in classes... erm.. very mixed feeling...

feel happy.. finally!! the moment is here...
sad.. leaving the sch.. leaving those frens.. might not even have the chance to meet most of them in future..
scared.. dunno wat's installed in future..

did feel like crying just now in class.. esp when sensei "dedicated" and played this jap song by SMAP.. a very meaningiful song.. love the lyric alot!! i shall reproduce it here in jap, romanji and english translation for u all..

花屋の　店先に　並んだ　いろんな花を　見ていた
人それぞれ　好みは　あるけど　どれも　みんな　きれいだね
この中で　誰が　一番だなんて　争うことも　しないで
バケツの中　誇らしげに　しゃんと　むねを　張っている
それなのに　僕ら　人間は　どうして　こうも　比べたがる?
一人一人　違うのに　その中で　一番に　なりたがる?
そうさ　僕らは　世界に　一つだけの花　一人一人　違う種を　持つ
その花を　咲かせることだけに　一生懸命に　なればいい
小さい花や大きな花、一つとして　同じものは　ないから
ナンバーワンに　ならなくてもいい　もともと　特別な　オンりーワン

Hanaya no misesaki ni naranda ironna hana o miteita
Hito sorezore konomi wa aru kedo doremo minna kirei dane
Kono naka de dare ga ichiban danante arasou koto mo shinaide
Baketsu no naka hokorashige ni shanto mune o hatteiru
Sore na no ni bokura ningen wa doushite kou mo kurabetagaru?
Hitori hitori chigau no ni sono naka de ichiban ni naritagaru?
Sou sa bokura wa sekai ni hitotsu dake no hana hitori hitori chigau tane o motsu
Sono hana wo sakaseru koto dake ni isshoukenmei ni nareba ii
Chiisai hana ya ookina hana hitotsu toshite onaji mono wa nai kara
Nanbaawan ni naranakutemo ii motomoto tokubetsu na onriiwan

I was looking at various flowers lined up in front of a flower shop
Although everybody has different likings, all the flowers are beautiful
They don't compete -- 'Who is the best among us?'
They all have their own dignity and look their best
Why do we humans, on contrary, always try to compare?
Why do we always want to be the best, although everyone is different?
Each of us is an unique flower in the world, everybody came from a different seed
Why don't we focus on letting our flowers bloom?
Small flowers and big flowers, no flowers look the same
We don't have to be the 'number one' as we are already the special 'only one'...

=)

Thursday, April 03, 2008

sleepy sleepy..

counting down to my end of SMU life.. 15 more days to the end of my last paper!!

if you were to ask me if i'm looking forward to this moment.. erm.. both a yes and a no..
yes.. cos i'm sick and tired of studying..
no.. cos i'll miss the freedom i'm having now.. skipping lessons as and when i feel like it.. gg for weekdays shopping.. slacking and napping at home.. and of cos i will miss dear the most.. miss meeting him for lunches in between his classes.. miss seeing him ard in sch..

anyway.. yea.. coming to the next phase of life.. but before that.. haha! is fun fun and more fun..
i dun even know when is my official starting work date yet.. hopefully is in late sept.. or better still in oct.. nov.. or dec will be WONDERFUL!! hahhaa.. imagine.. if i start work in dec.. woah.. does it mean i can spend my aug to dec in germany/europe.. weeeeeeee... sounds very good.. but... sigh! dream on..